There is a never-doneness to my work. That is why I am so happy to take the summer off and be with my family. I mean, of course, I will still work. I will reply to emails and I’m excited to paint. But, the unendingness of it all–the constant feeling that I am behind–that the virtual stack of papers is growing instead of shrinking–that is already behind me.
Twenty-four hours in to my official summer vacation and I am already aware of the deep satisfaction and leisure of standing at my sink, scrubby sponge in hand, and methodically cleaning it. Kids playing and reading–and I with my sponge. I cleaned my sink and the window behind it for what seemed like an hour today. It looks really clean now. I felt good when I was done. And the thing is, I was so aware tonight as I did the dishes, a task I don’t often to do as my husband is in charge of that, that there is an end point to cleaning the sink and doing the dishes–an end point when you think, “Ah, yes. Lovely. Clean. Good. Now I can go do something else.” That is a fine feeling of accomplishment and one that I am not at all accustomed to. Because my days are usually filled with unending computer tasks–whether designing, emailing, or social media. Social media alone makes us feel like we always have something to do. Just one more thing to check and we can get out the door, right?
There at the sink today, I already found what I am looking for. I am looking for ease, peace, graciousness, relaxation, creative togetherness with my family, connection, joy, creating and making. I am looking for simplicity.
In savasana today at the end of my yoga class, I visualized what I want my summer to look like. And it was maybe 1946 in the picture in my mind…and I was in maybe Iowa…and I had a big creamy-yellow house on the edge of a corn field…and there were clothes lines…and a wide wrap-around porch. And I was older than young. And bigger than small. And I was in an apron made of lovely cotton with little ditsy flowers and not without ruffles. It was the sort of apron that only starts at the waist and goes to below the knee and is all rounded and flouncy. And that was me. And my kids were in the yard, happily playing. And the day was fine and warm. And maybe I was making them fresh lemonade.
And so, I am off to go live my fantasy of connected, sacred motherhood and homemaking for the summer. I will now begin my annual social media fast and attempt to live my life like the one in my vision. I know I will bake cookies and make homemade ice cream with the kids and juice all sorts of vegetables for me. And I won’t take one ridiculous picture of any of it to share with you. I’ll just be in it. And time will drip like honey.
I’ll be back in a jiffy (late June) with much to share. But for now, you won’t find me on Instagram or Facebook or the blog for a month, but I’ll stay in touch by my email newsletter if need be, so make sure you are subscribed.
I wish you a very happy, connected summer surrounded by the people you love the most doing absolutely what you want and what you love…and if you can’t manage that, then I hope that at the very least your sink gets really, truly clean.
xo, Carrie B.