Hi. Happy winter break.
Still and then again
more and more hours
and days and weeks
playing with Legos and
being together and baby girl still
popping off all the heads
of all the lego guys.
And then again more
Mythbusters and Archimedes’ Ray.
And my almost five year old boy

And telling everyone he sees about launching
frozen chickens out of canons and Adam Sandwich
instead of Adam Savage.
He went to bed calling himself Jamie Hyneman.
And that is all. And that is enough.
These are the tender days. The floating
days. The days of badger houses and building
and eating Fig Newmans all day long and then again
making cookies from Barefoot Contessa with
absolutely and totally and completely
far too many chocolate chips. Almost more
chocolate than dough.
Reminds me of when my
brother and I were kids and we once set out
to make Cheese Eggs that were too cheesey to eat
and we succeeded.
I think we used five slices of American cheese
to two eggs.
These are the good days. These are lucky days.
I’m not saying I’m an angel.
I’m not saying I’m happy all day and not frustrated
ever or ever short-tempered-
but less. Less because we are governed by an inward force
that knows itself and its limits and needs no alpha.
Damn Alpha. I get so tired of being the damn Alpha
all the damn time. And I feel so grateful when these little beings
find their limits and mine and stay inside of those
lovely boundaries that we create to keep them
safe and not-maniacs. And I love when no one has to be the
Alpha- not mom or dad- and we get to all just be
in the pack. I suppose the pack only functions because
all the dogs know who the damn Alpha is…
but it is so wonderful to just be in the pack.
To lay around and sniff the air and know
our places around the Lego table.

(Oh, and we went up to see the snow for the
first time and we made a snow lady.)